For the Love of Genes

Here is what I think would be noteworthy to pass on to a biological child:

  1. my hair
  2. my sensitivity
  3. my love for music
  4. my good driving abilities

Here is what I would not want to pass on to a biological child:

  1. my anxiety
  2. my self esteem issues
  3. my grumpiness in the morning
  4. my tendency to over think things

I cannot speak for my husband about what he thinks of his good traits v. bad traits. Although, it would be easy for me to come up with a list in my head.

One of the beautiful things about MinMan is that he does not have our genetics. There is the whole thing about nature v. nurture and the fact that he will inherit qualities and behavior skills through our parenting, but he has an entirely different gene pool. And, after being his mom for 15 months I see that he has some pretty terrific qualities that we may not have had the ability to pass on to a biological child. Aside from looks personality and disposition are attributes of an individual. I see MinMan’s personality and disposition as being unbelievably amazing. He is so happy. I don’t think my husband nor I are that happy on a daily basis. This kid goes to bed laughing and wakes up laughing. I was never like that. He has his moments, but he possesses a personality that simply glows.

People gravitate towards him. Old and young alike. It is an amazing thing to watch. He is so loving and endearing that he pulls people in with his winning smile. I cannot make it down one grocery aisle without him making at least 2 new friends. Because he engages people to say hello or respond to him, he makes them smile. And, many of them probably didn’t go out that day to smile. Too bad. You just met MinMan.

Am I a bragging mom? Sure am. But, I’m not bragging about a person that I created. I’m bragging about a body full of genetics that have nothing to do with me. I am simply the lucky person that gets to raise this boy to manhood. I don’t see his love of life and constant laughter changing. I see him being a dynamic and beautiful person. I see him inspiring others to be better people.

It is still difficult at times to know that my genes will not be passed on. It would be nice to see our combination of genes in a little person. But, with MinMan it is easier to forget about those worries. We could not have been put together with a better baby. We needed him and his upbeat personality and charm. He keeps us laughing and thankful that our stars aligned.

12 thoughts on “For the Love of Genes”

  2. I have tears streaming down my face! I am so moved by your relationship with MinMan and by the stories you share that show us what an amazing and special little being he is.

  3. I love reading your stories about these conflicting emotions. Not because I’m some gawker who likes to read about the elation and pure joy and love of parenting and adoption with the simultaneous loss and pain of infertility….but because you share the truth about what it is like for you rather than simply saying “I adopted, and it fixed and healed everything about infertility”…because this is what I imagine it would be like for me if we ever went down this path.

    Thanks for being so open.

  4. MinMan sounds like a charmer and a special little boy. I can feel the love you have for him through your words. You are all lucky to have found each other.

    You give me hope in opening my heart to an adopted child. You love MinMan so much, which encourges me to think I too can love an adopted baby with my whole heart too.

  5. You have the right to brag about your miniman. 😀

    I know it’s hard sometimes to realize that you may not pass your genes on to someone. But I love your attitude in knowing that even if you could, it wouldn’t produce anything more beautiful than your son.

  6. Brag away!!!! I always love stopping by and reading your blog 🙂 This one makes me actually thing about adopting….wonder if I could talk my DH into it???

  7. Hmm, makes me wonder what is genetic and what is not. Not necessarily nature v nurture, but are some things just individual and neither nature nor nurture? So is personality something that is genetic and can be passed on or nurtured by those who raise you or does it come about in some other entirely different fashion?

  9. I love this post. That is one of the hardest things to me…not getting to see what a mini me and my husband would look like. I guess that it won’t matter once our babies come though, we’ll love them just the same!

  10. Erica, oh, I know this feeling. Getting to create a little person who’s half me, half my husband has been a dream for so long–and yet I look at our perfect little guy and just have to be thankful that all of our struggles led us to him (I think of that song “Broken Road” a lot). I can’t imagine not having him as our firstborn son, and I’m sure it’s the same for you and MiniMan.

    Also, I love that as adoptive parents, we can feel free to brag on their cuteness without it seeming like we’re bragging about ourselves–it’s a good perk! 😉

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