You must read this post.
Really love your peaches, want to shake your dumbass state senator
From A Little Pregnant.

When AJ and I decided to adopt, we automatically eliminated domestic adoption. Admittedly we were misinformed and uneducated about how it really works, but we were tired. We were spent emotionally and made our decision to adopt internationally because of people we knew who had wonderful experiences. We decided to adopt from Korea by a chance meeting with a woman who had rambled down the same road- IF and then adoption in her twenties. She couldn’t say enough wonderful things about our agency Love the Children. After looking into the agency further (which had a local chapter-bonus), we felt the program was excellent and a huge weight was lifted off our shoulders as we submitted our application.

One of my biggest goals as President of our non profit is to become as educated as possible on all facets of ART, IF and adoption- all kinds of adoption.

Thank you to Lori, I have been enlightened. Also, Heather at Production Not Reproduction has established a list of Open Adoption Blogs.
And, this beautiful post from Life from Here has opened my mind and my heart.

If it has been established that you need to take the next step and consult with a fertility specialist, there are crucial steps to keep in mind.

Fertility specialists for women are called Reproductive Endocrinologist. They are trained as gynecologists and obstetricians with 2-3 years of additional training in infertility and women’s hormone disorders. There are many OB/GYN’s who limit their practice to infertility to provide care for women with infertility diagnosis’.

For men there are urologists who have additional training for fertility and spend their time caring for men with infertility. Many of them are members of the Society of Male Reproduction and Urology (SMRU).

Finding an Infertility Specialist:

Check the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the professional society for medical professionals who specialize in the care of individuals with fertility problems. You can also contact patient support and advocacy groups such as RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association or The American Fertility Association to find a list of fertility professionals in your area. Do your research and try to find opinions from past patients of a particular specialist. You can get help from various chat rooms devoted to infertility.

Once you find name of a fertility specialist, the following are some factors to consider before choosing to work with them:

1. Training- Did the specialist have training in infertility beyond the standard training in obstetrics and gynecology and urology?
2. How long have they been treating infertile patients? Do they have special expertise in areas such as endometriosis, in vitro fertilization, male factor infertility?
3. Certification of the American Board of Obstetricians and Gynecologists as an obstetrician-gynecologist or as a reproductive endocrinologist or by the American Board of Urology.
4. Ask about the doctor’s current success rates
5. Publication of research related to fertility
6. Membership in professional societies: American Society for Reproductive Medicine, American Urology Association, Society for Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility, Society of Reproductive Surgeons, or Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology.
7. Do they offer the full ranges of services including surgery, endocrinology and in vitro fertilization?
8. Prices and participation with your insurance carrier
9. Reputation in the community

Honorable Mention Authors

Twin Peas Blog and Podcast

Yaya Stuff

My Life Our Journey

“One Year Ago Next Week”- Jessica N.

How did I get into blogging? I don’t even really know. This goes back to 2007. I remember searching for a site to blog from. I started one place (I dont remember the name) and quickly found blogspot and the rest is history.
I am a writer, always have been. I tried to publish a book of poems at age 8. I didn’t go to college for writing and have no training except trial and error and learning from other authors. There was never a question in my mind that I would publish a book someday. The genre or topic didn’t matter; I just knew it would happen. Nancy Drew was my idol. I can’t tell you how many times i started a mystery novel modeled after ND.
As I grew older some topics came to mind for a novel but I discovered that I am mostly interested in real life. I am good at writing essays and poems but manuscripts are very daunting to me. How do I take an idea and expand it into a 150 page book? I was told to just write and think about organizing it later. I am taking that advice. My desire for real life stories is why I like blogging. This venue gives me the opportunity to talk about things that are important to me and practice my craft. It is rewarding that people are reading my entries, commenting and even praising them. I am grateful for that. We are our own worst critic and hearing people tell me that my writing is inspiring is unexpected and wonderful.

My first blog is about our experience with infertility and our decision to adopt and subsequently all the steps that came along with that decision. It was meant to be read by family and friends, but I found that the link was passed on to friends of friends and then some. This is how the idea that I (me and my husband) could help people by telling our story. We could inspire and educate. We could celebrate the evolution of our experience and the pure joy of its result- our son. We could also reflect on all we had been through- which was a lot.

Telling the raw details of our IF experiences made them real. No one really knew what had taken place in our lives for the prior four years. They didn’t know about the 18 guage needles, the ectopic pregnancy that was ended with our unsympathetic doctor saying, “It’s ectopic. You need to abort the embryo today- now.” No kind words. No one knew that our hearts had been crushed with grief with the thought that a child would not be a part of our lives.
As I kept writing, I realized, they needed to know. People need to know. Education is the catalyst for understanding and sympathizing. If I could change the opinion or outlook of one person, maybe they would refrain themselves from saying something insensitive about adoption or infertility.

The day I ended my first blog was sad. I cried as I wrote the last entry. At the time I didn’t see a need to continue on with the blog, but I also couldn’t envision beginning a new one. I was busy with my son and being a mom. Who wanted to hear about our lives raising Fyn? Then it occurred to me, I didn’t care. His blog is a journal for him to have always and forever. It is my baby book, my scrapbooking, my video collection. Even at this moment I don’t know how long I will continue to blog about our family life. I know that many people don’t understand blogging or why I write about our life. Believe me, it is not because I believe in voyeurism. I don’t like Reality TV shows that don’t serve a good purpose or celebrity tabloids that exploit people and their privacy. I am not trying to expose myself or my family in a negative way- just an honest way, a way for friends and family to catch up on Finn and for others to learn that there is life after IF. For us adoption was a wonderful way to fulfill dreams of parenthood.

This blog connected with the non profit, Parenthood for Me, Inc. was a no brainer and luckily at that point I had some experience under my belt. But, I was in no way prepared for “The Blogosphere.” When I found Mel, I thought, ” I have a lot of work to do.” Of coarse I wanted my non profit’s blog to be resourceful, interesting, popular but I had no idea what I would be aspiring to become (not that I could ever accomplish what Stirrup Queen or other blogs have accomplished). I just want to prove to be useful to readers and followers. I want to continue to enjoy creating my blog and making it better and better. It is part of the work I am doing for the non-profit. In fact, the blogosphere is turning out to be the biggest tool I could ever have imagined for building our non-profit.
Thank you to my supporters as of now and thank you to all future supporters of Parenthood for Me. We are growing everyday with the help of reaching out to those in our community and our blogging community. I take a little bit from every person I meet on the IF and adoption blog circle. I learn a little everyday on how to be a better writer and organizer of information for those that need help and guidance. I aim to make my non profit a success for those that needs its support. Through others hard work and heartfelt blogs I gain momentum and inspiration to continue on.

The Realities of Adoption

Adoption and Society

Facts About Infertility

I have been reading so many blogs lately. There seems to be thousands of infertility, adoption, miscarriage and loss blogs. I try to leave comments on most of them to introduce myself, my story, and our non profit. I follow a few blogs but regret that I do not have more time to read other blogs in depth. There are so many women who finally did have a successful pregnancy after all the heartache. It is nice to hear that ART works for people even after loss and failure. It makes me a little sad when I think about our situation with ART. We had such an awful experience for the first 2 1/2 years. I firmly believe that being under the wrong care gave us no real chance of conceiving. This is why it is so important to advocate for yourself when it comes to health care. Don’t just take the referral you are given. Get 2-3 opinions, ask a lot of questions, push your doctors to give you answers. It is their job. We learned this the hard way, but it is a very important lesson. I will use this lesson for any health issue that comes up in my life or loved ones lives.

Recently I had to go back to my OB (which is my second fertility specialist as well) for a regular check-up. Being in that office for the first time in over a year brought tears to my eyes. There were so many different types of emotions felt there: hope, relief, sadness, and grief. It was weird to only be there as a “regular” patient. I had a flash that I was just a woman who could conceive a child on my own. (It’s weird how often I still do that– forget about my IF problems.) There were a couple of women with me in the waiting room, and I wondered what they were there for. Were they getting ready for an IUI or IVF? How did they feel? How long had they been trying? It did feel good to walk out of the office and get on the elevator knowing I wouldn’t be going back until next year. Instead I would be picking up my son in a couple of hours.

IF has left me feeling open ended about my life. I know I want to adopt again- a girl this time. But, because no doctor has ever told me I cannot conceive, I am left with the what-if’s. Sometimes I like being in this position, feeling like the possibilities are endless. After all IF led me to my beautiful son. I cannot say I would change anything at this point, because of the outcome of our wonderful adoption journey. But, sometimes I wish I could plan out my family like other people can. I guess I need to embrace the fact that planning can be a little dull; our topsy turvey way of creating our family is more fun.

1. He gets more handsome every day
2. His hair has a Clark Kent wave, but it is still too short to cut
3. When I go into his room to get him out of his crib, he throws the blanket over his head and pretends to snore!
4. He finally learned that he is Luv Bug. He used to go around the room and point to everyone and say Mommy, Dada, Papa, Ooma and then when we asked who he was he would say either Mommy or Dada. He points at himself in person and in pictures and says his own name.
5. He’s learning his letters
6. He copies everything we do. If we stretch our arms up in the air, so does he. If we clear our throat, so does he. My dad had surgery and he walks with a limp, so does Luv Bug.
7. He will now sit down for a full five minutes in his adorable gingham chair, put the blanket on his legs and watch Boo Hoos (Blues Clues)
8. He dances better than most adults
9. I love his outbursts of “WOW”
10. When we are in stores he says hi to everyone. He’s my little mayor.